


That Fruit & Veg Fic

by WhoInWhoville



Series: I love AUs [2]
Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: AU, F/M, Flirting, Fluff, Fruit, Vegetables, silliness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-30
Updated: 2017-03-30
Packaged: 2018-10-13 00:25:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,536
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10502613
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhoInWhoville/pseuds/WhoInWhoville
Summary: It's been said that the produce aisle is a great place to meet new friends.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Kelkat9](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kelkat9/gifts), [captaingrahamcr](https://archiveofourown.org/users/captaingrahamcr/gifts).



> Prompted by Kelkat9 way back when. Originally posted 5/18/2015. The lovely captaingrahamcr had rescued it before I took my fic down. Thank you CGCR!

The first time they spoke, she was staring at a pile of lemons. "The round and heavy ones are the best," he said.

"Eh, what?" she stuttered. 

The chipper and decidedly male voice had come from behind her back. Very Closely. And the source of that voice was still there. Hovering. She could feel his hair tickling her ear, and his warm breath on her neck. 

"Lemons," he said brightly, looking over her shoulder. "Pick two lemons of equal size. Well," he drew out the word and then sidled alongside her. "Relatively equal in size as best as you can guess. The average human eye isn't going to have the ability to discern the volume of the object simply by looking at it. Me, on the other hand, I might be able to pick two lemons of nearly equal size, and discern not only their volume, but their level of ripeness and freshness, and give a fairly accurate estimate of their juice yield." 

"So you're a lemon expert, then?" She looked at him directly for the first time. She swore his eyes twinkled — an actual proper glimmer of starlight that sparkled from deep within his gorgeous brown eyes. And those freckles across the bridge of his fine nose. 

"Lemon expert? Naw," he said, scrunching his perfect nose. "Numbers. That's my expertise. Well," he drawled again, looking up at the ceiling for a moment, "among other things." He grinned at her. 

"Go on then,” she said, sounding much calmer than she felt, “pick me some perfect lemons. I’ll be needing about six of em, ta." 

He filled a bag, and offered up the perfect citrus specimens with a gallant little bow. Before she could thank him, he’d already trotted away, hands shoved deep into the pockets of his tightly-tailored brown pinstriped trousers. 

oOo 

She was studying an assortment of stone fruit. The display of peaches, plums, nectarines, apricots, prunes, and pluots had her mouth watering for a sweet treat. 

And again he appeared. This time, he was balancing a cantaloupe in one hand and a pineapple in the other. Two large bunches of kale were tucked under one arm, and he had an enormous bag of carrots under the other. 

"Why don't ya just use a trolley?" She tipped her head to the side, and frowned slightly. 

"Why would I go and do a thing like that for?” he protested. “I have perfectly useful hands and arms. A trolley would be a waste of human energy." 

"Alright..." she drawled. "So do you think less of me for using a basket?" 

"Not at all!" he enthused. "You are efficiently maximising your human physiology by utilising a basket." He peered into the canvas basket she had looped over one arm. "You have six different types of fruit and veg. I only have four. Oh! Pluots! You have pluots! I didn't know Tesco carried pluots! Brilliant fruit." 

"Yeah, thought I'd give them a go. Never had a pluot before. So what are ya planning on doing with all of that kale and those carrots, then? Juicing?" 

"Nope." He offered her a smile.

“What then?” she pressed.

“Can’t rightly say.” He frowned to himself, turned on his heel, and hurried away. 

oOo

Time number three they bumped -- literally -- into each other at a farmers market. "Perusing the purple potatoes, I presume?"

She startled, even thought it was just a friendly shoulder bump. 

He sidled up next to her and watched her hand skim over the potatoes. 

"Do you have any sense of personal space?" she asked, half laughing as she turned to look at him. 

"Perturbed?" he comically enunciated. 

"Probably should be." A slow, wide grin took over her face. She tipped her head to the side. "Purple bananas?" 

"Technically, they are red bananas, aka Jamaican bananas. But they really do look more purple than red, don't they?" He crinkled his brow. "Absolutely brilliant for baking purposes, they really are. I'm John Smith, by the way. Who are you?" 

“I’m Rose. Rose Tyler. It’s almost like we’re old friends by now." 

"Nice to meet you, Rose Tyler. The Doctor and Rose Tyler. Proper produce pals?" 

"Probably," she continued the alliteration. 

He tugged on his ear and looked away for a moment. "I saw a juicing stand a few booths down. Want to grab a drink? I mean, only if you want to..." 

She chewed her lip for a moment, but then smiled. "Sure. Sounds great. Just let me purchase these purple potatoes." 

He grinned. 

oOo 

Their next meeting was planned. Sort of. She may have (not so) subtly let him know that she had a habit of picking up fresh fruit and veg on Mondays, Thursdays, and Saturdays on her way home from work. Usually around six. 

“Hello Rose Tyler. Fancy bumping into you in the produce aisle. What’s on your list today?”

“Mineolas, pomelo, lemon grass, red pepper, basil, cucumbers, and ginger.” 

"Fresh is best, you know. Oh! I love ginger! Did you know that the best way to remove the tough outer skin of the ginger root is to use the tip of a spoon? Scrapes right off.”

“Thanks for the tip.” She smiled as she reached for a root. “Cooking Thai food tonight.”

“Hence the basil, ginger, pepper, cucumbers, and lemon grass?”

“Yep.”

“There's one thing I have never seen you buy, Rose Tyler." 

"What's that?" She smiled brightly.

"Bananas."

"Bananas? I never buy bananas. They're very bad for you," she said, eyes wide.

"What? What?! Who told you that?!" His voice was at least two octaves higher than normal. 

"I read it on the Internet.“ 

“Just because it’s on the Internet doesn’t make it true. Bananas are one of the universe's most perfect foods. The health benefits are... are... beyond compare! Potassium, fibre, mood elevation, vitamins B6 and B12. They're good for hangovers, heartburn, and hypertension." 

"Really?" she asked, turning to look at the display. She reached for a small bunch of speckled bananas. 

"No, no, no, no, not those. Allow me." He grabbed the bunch she was holding, and tossed them to the other side of the pile. Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out a pair of paper 3D glasses.

She gawped. 

"Aren't you going to ask what's with the glasses?" He pointed to his face. 

"What's with the glasses?" She giggled.

"I can see any blemish on the skin that might be invisible to the naked eye!" 

"You have banana glasses.” 

“I take my bananas very seriously, Rose Tyler." The look on his face matched the seriousness of his voice. “Oh, now look at this! Here we have an amazing bunch of bananas! Perfect!” He put three bananas in her basket. “This will hold you over until your next produce day. Make sure you eat at least one a day.” 

“I’ll make sure to do that,” she replied, nodding obediently. 

oOo 

"You know, not once in all the times we've marketed together have you told me what you do." She reached for a starfruit. “You’ve bragged about your superior abilities to know how to pick the ripest melon, which pomegranate is ripe, finding the best beets and turnips and green beans. And oh! Thanks for the tip about carrots — buying the ones with the tops still on — they really do stay crisp and fresh much longer.” She tipped her head to the side. “Are you the produce manager?” 

“Nope. I’m a scientist. That is, I’m a doctor of, well, several things. Currently, I'm working on alternative energy sources." He held a bunch of radishes at eye level, squinting as he studied. "It's why I buy so much produce. I’m researching the possibility of plant-based fuels.” 

"Blimey, I had no idea. Here, I'm just a shop girl, and you're trying to change the world with fruit and veg.” 

"You're not just anything, Rose Tyler," he reprimanded.

She reached for a pear.

"Stop!" he screeched. 

Rose jumped at the curt command. 

"Don't you dare,” he said darkly.

"Why?" she asked, shrinking away from him. 

"Pears are despicable. And I promise, if you ever, ever eat a pear, I won't kiss you for at least a week." 

"Kiss me?" she raised one eyebrow.

"Erm... right. Yes." He cleared his throat. "After we, you know, have a few.. erm... dates. And I don’t mean eating the fruit.” 

"Are you asking me out on a date, Doctor Smith?" She moved a step closer, and held the pear close to her lips, almost touching. 

"Yes. Yes I am. But please, would you put that pear down? Or I will rescind my offer." 

With a wicked gleam in her eyes, she put the pear in her basket, and then added a few more. 

"I take it that's a no, then?" His shoulders rounded, and he looked to the side. 

"Of course not," she said, laughing. "I'd love to go out with you. The pears are for my mum. Actually, I really don't fancy pears." 

He released the breath he was holding. "Well that's a relief! How about tonight?” 

"Yeah, I'd like that. I just have one more thing on my list. I’ll be right back.”

She slipped on a pair of 3D glasses and jogged to the large display of bananas.


End file.
